Two songs, One life
by Shirai Hisaishi
Summary: In front the big audience, she sang and won the greatest contest in her life, letting people trap her with 'congratulations' and words of praise. Inside the train, he didn't let the man borrow his phone for an urgent call. In front the big audience, she dashed away before she could let these people hear her heart. [HIATUS]
1. Chapter 1

In front the big audience, she sang and won the greatest contest in her life, letting people trap her with 'congratulations' and words of praise.

Inside the train, he didn't let the man borrow his phone for an urgent call.

In front the big audience, she dashed away before she could let these people hear her heart.

Inside the train, he dialed her number so the man could call his daughter.

.

.

.

Pop, rock, jazz, dance.

There are lots of music genres existing in the world. Different effects are given to people, of course. Some songs make listeners dance. Some songs are upbeat and happy, influencing people with positive vibe. And some, well, can make people cry.

Not with her.

She hates music and calls it noise. Songs are just the same, whether you call them ballad or not - she says. They are noises made to sound pleasant. It's mundane and sickly. She loathes them for a reason she won't reveal.

 _"You are too rough,"_ he told her one day. She was in a botanical garden secluded in a greenhouse. It was a place away from the noise of city, filled with people who were studying plants. Her eyes looked away from the newsletter and brought it down. The music hater ignore the speaker as she left the table.

"Daina, why is there another stranger bugging me here?" She asked her friend who was watering a row of flowering plants - but replied not. She turned back to scold her friend but she realized that there's something wrong.

Daina was smiling still. The water she is pouring is suspended in the air. The time stopped. She whipped her head around to see that everyone else is on the same state. For the first time, she felt her heart pounding against her chest.

"Guys?" She called them, shook them to wake them up, but they were like stone statues, unmoving and inanimate-like. "What happened?" Her cold sweat dropped from her forehead as she ran to the glass door, until the same voice earlier spoke.

Her clicking heels stopped as she froze on her place. Now, hearing a sole voice with her company paused like a movie, she wasn't sure what to feel. She wasn't afraid, she told herself. The voice was like music and she should show same agitation towards it. With a deep breath, she turned her back and faced the speaker.

 _"I see, you loved singing before...until that incident,"_ the voice whispered in her right ear. She glimpsed on the speaker but it vanished as soon as the whisper ended. She, who didn't believe supernatural beings, was now tricked by one? Her head stirred up to her right, but there was none. A pair of hands landed on her shoulders, its touch was gentle, almost normal - other than the fact that speaking to an entity amid a frozen scene is uncommon - she shuddered. _"You're always looking at wrong way, love."_ He teased.

"Show up." She turned around and no one was there. Her steps brought her in the middle of the green house, she was looking around continuously, in case he began talking again.

 _"What if I grant your wish?"_

"I said show up. I have seen this in movies. Show up and deal with me, you _troll._ " She coldly remarked, picking up the newsletter from where she left it.

 _"We are not in a movie. Though you really play a role, this is reality, sweetie."_

"Oh, yes. Sure. And this is a dream. Come on, show up so I can wake." Her attempts of unlocking the door failed, it was locked even if it wasn't. This is slowly getting in her nerves as she turned and ran to the opened window.

 _"Do you still remember your wish that time? I'll grant them. Of course, there is something in exchange. Nothing's free nowadays,"_

She clambered to the chair to reach the opened window. Even though the chair was wobbly, she stretched out her hands to reach the window. But something was stopping her fingers to slip through the window, as if there was an invisible wall. Her patience broke as she jumped down, "what on earth is this dream?!"

 _"This is no dream, my fair lady."_ He mumbled against her hair. She felt his fingers running on her scalp, it was cold and making her shiver. She looked back and saw him _finally._ He was there, leaning against the glass wall. His hair was tied back and his shoulders looked strong. He was lean and tall, she was wrong to call him a troll. But his mischievous smile was something she felt dreadful. There were no pointed ears or nose, or wrinkled face, or tattered clothes covered with moss, or even greenish skin. He was perfectly human. _"I heard your voice, in the past. Asking. Pleading. Begging for one last chance."_ He told her, hopping from one pot to another.

"Whatever is that, that was long time ago, and I do not wish the same thing anymore." She hissed, grip tightening on the newspaper. "I left past in the past. Why are you suddenly talking about a forgotten unthought wish?"

 _"Haven't you heard the saying? Be careful what you wish for. You should have remembered that before muttering wishes way back. And I am always hearing that wish, again and again and again. Getting fervent every time it is said."_ His smile was full of sly, he counted as a troll playing on her now. She just rolled her eyes, waiting for the dream to end. This wasn't reality, she couldn't feel the heat - but she was sweating. And he was jumping on the plants as if he was weightless. He was bloody-almost-floating!

"Ah, and where could have you heard that? I couldn't remember myself saying anything related with my-" she wasn't able to finish what she's saying when the wind blew gently and the next thing she knew, he was right in front her. He was too close for her liking, she was getting a good view of those blue irises and its spongy surface. He was pressing his forehead against her, making him bend down just to put it on same level. She was getting heedful with his finger pressed against her heart, and his other hand on the small of her back.

 _"Your heart. Your heart talks for you every time you order people to turn music down. You are asking for another chance, again and again. Because the same song is not going to play, right? I will give you a chance. Do it correctly and you will save your messy life now, and mine."_ He smiled and let her go. She distanced herself, feeling how that spot he touched searing with coldness. She knew he was correct, she was asking for it. Every time she hears a music, her wish is being relived - but she remembers nothing about the wish, other than it's a chance. The wish exactly? It was unclear.

"Who are you?" She asked, watching him drink her tea from the table. He glanced at her and chuckled, walking towards her. Every step forward of him, she walks away. He grimaced with her action.

 _"I am someone you met shortly in the past. We met shortly, so quick, but funny it is. Such short time we met, I am tangled with you in this knot of fate."_ He raked his hair up, some of his fringe just fell above his eyes again. _"That's why I am like this and you are like that because of your wish. They decided long enough for that and you should be thankful. I will be with you to guide you, so do your best."_ He turned back and walked away even before he may reach her. _"We will do it again and again, until you do it correctly. But we have a limited time. Everyone deserves second chances. We deserve a second chance, don't we?,"_ his voice was now serious and cold. This might be his real personality, she mused.

"I am absolutely clueless with what you are talking about, so please leave me alone because I don't want to ruin our lives - "

 _"Exactly!"_ He exclaimed, interrupting her rant. She scowled and shut her lips tightly together because she was interrupted. Twice in a row. She was impatient with this dream for it's getting more vivid as the clock ticks. He met her eyes, blue against blue, hers was darker. _"Exactly, that's why we're redoing it, honey. Cooperate so we will find the happy ending, okay?"_

She raised her hands to stop him from saying another weird thing, his idiosyncrasies are beginning to be realistic to her and she doesn't want that, but she was stopped by a music playing somewhere. It was loud and clear, it was the song she was singing that _time._

 _"Let's remove all our regrets, sweetie."_ He mumbled and she felt herself melting in his arms. That was her last glance on the botanical garden.


	2. Chapter 2

First.

Her eyes squinted against the pool of light from the window, early morning of an unknown hour. She curiously stared at the blinking lights through the tree beside her room - _wait, what tree?_ Her body jolted up, pushing the blanket away from her. A soft bluish bed right beside the glass wall surrounded by shelves of magazines and books; a dresser built-in through the walls, room painted white and pastel blue.

She climbed down of her bed, unsure if she'd believe her eyes, and studied the frames hanging on her wall. A picture of her with her father on her third grade recognition day; a picture of her playing a piano, a guitar, a violin; and few more pictures of her smiling. _Smiling_ , an archaic act to the present her. She gaped as she walked, eyes watery and surprised. Her feet pressed hard against the carpet of weird curling designs. She's _back_.

The faint sound coming outside her door was noticed, a clattering of kitchen equipment and a high pitched voice commanding a familiar name to wake someone. To wake her. She ran to the door and pulled it back revealing the shiny wooden floor. It was their house.

"So, how's this place? Is it nostalgic?"

She spun and saw the same guy who froze the time from yesterday. He was there, on her bed, wearing the same sly smirk as the day before. At an instant, she wanted to crash him. "It's you! Why am I here? Is this another loop dream? Get me out of here!" Her fingers reached for his collar, only to stop when the guy looked at her beneath those long lashes, a hard stare - freezing hard.

"I expected you to thank me right this moment," his reply sent chill down her spine. It was his voice that arouses a certain emotion she never thought to exist; is it dread or hate? But his voice, so cold and firm, was scaring her.

"Expectations are different from realities, troll." She dared to call him that way again albeit his toothsome features could never be a supernatural something. He dithered talking, and replied a smirk instead. In a blink of an eye, he was standing behind her.

"Just thank me, sweetie. You shall," he purred against her ear, an arm circling her small waist, "because I'm helping you and your corrupted present self."

The bright sun moved away from her window and the thing visible was the komorebi. She was like a statue, unmoving while this unknown being was standing behind. She never liked how this guy, or entity, acted so intimate - holding her and such - without her say. Even her friend could not do that. Again, he was different. There was a certain feeling that he would do something inhumane to her if she squirmed away.

"It's an arrangement you made in this time and I was involved. If you think I'm doing it for you, pardon me but I'm not. Have some sense, I am blaming you for my current state." His voice was full of abhorrence, hissing words so venomous. His hold around her waist tightened but was gone as soon as a voice summoned her from the door.

It was her father.

He was there, smiling at the doorway. Dressed to attend his work, he gestured her to come with him and take breakfast. "Hurry up, buddy. Mom is like Godzilla." She smiled, though hesitant it wasn't obvious, and followed her father down the plight of stairs. The dreadful guy just a while ago was completely forgotten by her, but he was still there, frowning yet interested to watch how the expression of the girl changed. For over the years he had been looking upon her in silence, the lady never smiled after that incident. Lots of her friends tried to renew her, but none helped. It was a surprise for him because she was resistant in bringing her back in an unforgotten memory. Ironically, he predicted her to enjoy that time.

"When people enjoy doing things, they forget time. This woman is smart enough so she shouldn't forget that everyone had their times limited." He flew down, stealthy and almost invisible. He was sitting on one of the unoccupied chairs. The girl ate merrily, conversing with her parents. It's boring him, absolutely!

"Don't you need to leave for school already?" Her mom asked as she began taking their plates. It dawned to her where was she, a time and place lost in her memory. She looked at her mom and her dad, her smile was so radiant. Right then, she knew that getting late is no more than seeing her parents faces. "Is there something wrong, Miku?" Her mom brought her back to reality.

Miku smiled and winced, holding back the tears she might shed anytime. "I was just glad seeing the two of you smiling like that, mom and dad. I have to get going." She ran to them and kissed goodbye. As if she doesn't want to go yet, she looked back to them and waved a hand before running out of the house for school.

The neighborhood she used to know nine years ago is right in front her, alive and tangible. Middle schoolers are dashing their way to school, just like her. Her jeans, her shirt, her bag, her hair, her environment - all are carbon copy of her past. She is sent back in the time where her life deliberately changed as though unplanned by the fate. Inside the body of her sixteen-year old self resides a twenty-five year old one. However, she couldn't remember what could have gone wrong in this time to avoid the tragedy awaiting for her.

A pair of cold arms wrapped around her shoulders when she reached her seat in the class. She froze, wary of the classmates around her that might see him clinging to him intimately. His whispered chuckling was against her right ear, intending his cold lips to graze on her. "You love this class, don't you?" His voice was tinted with sinister. "Does it make you happy seeing this once more?"

"It will be happier if you get off me. It will be hard to explain what are you doing." She mumbled so that her seatmates won't hear her as she unloaded her bag - bringing out the notes and books she will be going to use. His arms left her skin but he was now sitting on her desk, smiling slyly as usual..

"They won't see me, haven't I told you? You and I are tangled on the same plane. Other words, only the two of us are entangled. Only you can see me, after all." He sneered and vanished. Miku eased her mind as the class was about the begin. As of now, she has to remember what had gone wrong in this time.

She dashed out of the class as soon as her study hall began. Her friends were ignored as she made her way somewhere private so she can talk with him, only to be called back by a yell of a friend.

"Miku! Where are you going?" Aoki marched to her side and stared at her, expectant of an answer. Miku felt uncomfortable with Aoki's staring, so she spun around looking for a place to name.

"I have to study. Privately?" Stupid, Miku thought. Nobody would believe her. She never studied alone in this timeline. No wonder why Aoki's laughter was not insulting.

"That sounds like Luka," Aoki said, "what has gotten in you? We have a band practice, Miku. The contest will be two days from now, you have to be well prepared. Let's get going!" She was dragged by Aoki back to the hallway she left as the other girls helped Aoki taking her away. No matter how Miku begged them to release her, she was held back until they reached the music room.

The stereos, the mic stand, the bass and electronic guitars, the drum set, the keyboard - it really is a music room for a band. She knew this of course, she was familiar with all of these. She was a band vocalist when she was 16, before she hated music. As she watched her friends position themselves on their instruments, the acoustic guitar and the mic stand were left unoccupied. That place was claimed for her.

"I'm sorry, I don't sing!" Eagerness urged her to speak the truth. But nobody would believe her at this timeline. "I - I won't join the contest." It is true, she doesn't know how to sing anymore. Her passion for music died when her father died, and all that was left to her was hatred towards music.

Laughter was her friends' response. Miku knew this would happen so she turned her back to them. "We just practiced yesterday. That's some joke, Miku. Come on." Luka persuaded her to stand on her spot, but Miku wasn't the same Miku she was in this time.

"Give it a try," the cold voice spoke to her. His fingers ran on her lips and the coldness left her skin scorching. "Give it a try, sweetheart. They shouldn't know you're from the future." He was standing on her spot, tapping the mic with his fingers. "This is the 'you' of this time, Miku."

"Come on, Miku. Didn't you ask us to play Roger Rabbit yesterday? We studied that song for the whole night so better go there now, yuhoo~" Gumi, the drummer, cheered. Her smile, Miku is familiar with her smile. That smile remained when Miku lost herself after that incident.

"Alright." She walked towards him, hesitant for she knew that her misfortune began with singing. But if she would sing, she may remember her wish and why she wished that. She stood by his side, his icy blue eyes watched her beneath those lashes. Miku began singing with the slow beat Gumi started. Miku kept her eyes on him as he sat in front her, smiling like an amused audience.

 _Is there a right way for how this goes?_

 _You've got your friends and you've got your foes_

 _They want a piece of something hot_

 _Forget your name like they forgot_

 _Oh, ain't that something?_

 _Some wanna see you crash and burn_

 _And criticize your every word_

 _I'm trying to keep from going insane_

 _Ain't that the way of this whole damn thing_

 _Oh, trying to be something more?_

'This is one weird song. Why would I request it in this time?' Miku shrugged as the transition to chorus played. "Go, Miku! Remember what will go wrong!" The blond seated on the ground cheered. 'He is some weird spirit.' She sagged.

But as she tried singing her heart out, as she let the melody carry her small heart sailing in the sea of emotions, the song spoke to her the thing she has to do - the thing that must be done. The song drifted her away as she sang the chorus like she was programmed to sing it...

 _Nobody's gonna feel your pain_

 _When all is done_

 _And it's time for you to walk away_

 _ **So when you have today**_

 _ **You should say all that you have to say.**_

The song was finished instantaneously. And as an aftermath, Miku didn't look like herself. She was spacing out like her soul was misplaced. Her friends cheered and praised her for singing it well, but she ignored this commotion and ran away with her things. It's been decided, she would tell her father not to take the train trips until her singing contest was over. Maybe then she could avoid the accident. Now that she knew the future, she could stop it.

Her unceasing run sneaked her out of the high school, such action broke the image of the studious and obedient high school A+ student she was. Long teal locks waved behind her as she marched back to her home. Her tears began to fall, she sobbed and panted as she did her best to reach their house. It didn't matter by now if she would run kilometers, or if no bus would stop for a high school lass who escaped class.

Run, Miku. Run. She scolded herself, determined to tell her father the warning of the coming accident.

"This is insanity." The cold voice echoed and everything halted like a paused movie. _Again_. It was like yesterday, when everything and everyone in the greenhouse stopped. Miku still continued but she stopped after crashing to an invisible wall. She'd run five meters to her left, and she'd would crash again - she's simply caged at that place.

"Let me go!" She yelled, glaring at him with those teary orbs. She stared at him - he didn't look like the the way he looked earlier. He stood quite taller than her, his features shrank to a sixteen year old boy, grimacing at the little show she made from running out of her school.

"Stop acting like you don't know what will happen in the future," he lectured - she noticed his voice changed too. "Running away from school won't change what lies ahead."

She replied a bitter laughter, hoarse and sarcastic. "Then why the fuck did you bring me back here, mister?" She spat and ran to grab his collar, "why the heck did you show me all these melancholia? Tell me?!"

Her hand was holding the thin air. He disappeared in front her when he met her eyes - she would never get him collared, ever. "This isn't your time and place anymore. We are here to grant your petty wish of going back in time, stop being stupid."

"I know!" She yelled and tried slapping him as she turned around, but he leaped backward and remained floating in the air. "I wished to be here once more. But what for if I can't change the past? What for, troll? What for!"

His fingers covered her eyes as a whisper sent her to a sleep, the answer to her question was mumbled to the thin air, "to free you from your regrets, that's what your father wished."

 **"I'm sorry."**

When Miku opened her eyes - or rather, when she regained consciousness, those are the words she first heard. An apology. She is standing in their living room with her father unlatching his cuffs. Why is he apologizing? She mused and stared at him, mentally begging him to continue.

"But you promised that you will watch my performance tomorrow!" She exclaimed unexpectedly. Miku wasn't thinking that phrase in her head, so why did she speak without her will? "That is the only birthday present I am asking and yet... All that matters to you is your job!"

Her father was about to argue with her, correct her and scold her for speaking insolently, but she spoke again - and Miku wanted to restrain herself talking but she couldn't. "Don't you even tell me that you're doing this for our own good. It isn't good at all! It isn't! It isn't!"

Miku ran upstairs and slammed the door.

Miku watched herself do that. She remained in the living room, while the other Miku shut herself in her room.

"You're a psyche as of now," the voice told her. He was still there, lurking in the shadows like a random stalker.

"I am not an idiot, you know." She replied and faced him, both of them are trapped in their sixteen year old bodies. His simpering annoyed her as he walked 'round her as if that simper is a victorious flag raised before her.

"I'm sorry! I thought you are! Your action done yesterday is the dumbest thing I've seen from you?! I thought you are smart enough," he chuckled and retreated from her. "I thought you'd be able to realize the fault you will commit tomorrow, but that song didn't help reminding you."

He vanished in the shadows casted by the stairs, and she walked to her parents instead. There's no use changing the past, so why did this sly boy bring her back at the root cause of her oddly sour self in the present?

Her parents talked animatedly, she saw how her father looked disappointed with his own decision and tried winning the conversation from her mother. Her mother tried consoling her father, but the man remained disappointed with himself. "I'm doing this for our future. All that I'm seeing is the future - her now is what she values, why can't I-"

Miku shed tears once more. This is what she failed to appreciate from her father at this time. She bawled into tears again as the thought of her father passing away (because of an uncontrolled happenstance) sent her back to the cavern of her past grievances. Her wish was granted after nine years and yet, her powerlessness made her depressed to the nth power. Watching - or redoing - the exact events nine years ago hurt her even more, as though she was rubbing salt to her own wounds.

"Did you figure out the reason why we are here?" The boy reappeared, his hands came from her behind, and he removed her hands covering her tear-soaked face.

She winced, shoulders shook. "What's your name?" She asked, his role finally sunk strangeness after he popped out of nowhere.

His cold hands released her trembling ones, as he stood before her - brushing the strands of her hair in disarray. "You don't have to know my name. For now,"

"Why are you here?" She won't stop until all is clear to her, "how are we related? Why are we entangled? Entangled of what, where? How?"

"You will know tomorrow. After all, that is when we first met."

Miku saw him smile - a real one, not a sly smirk or sneer, it's a real smile from an unknown boy who transported her in the past. He faded as soon as he smiled and she remained separated to her own body.

Miku spent the night in her room, watching her physical self bewitched by slumber. The tired soul she was sat on the window, moon-bathing and over thinking about what will happen tomorrow. Knowing the future annihilates her already crushed heart, because as she thought of it more, she realized that she would never be able to stop her father from dying.

It pained her that she was kept out of her body because of her tendency to alter the past. They restrained her in working on her own accord, they stopped her to do the reason why she wished going back. There was no understanding at all, the purpose of leaping through time. It was right before her, the event that caused her hatred towards music, that very moment before her father died, and yet she couldn't do a thing to fight fate.

Tomorrow, if this continues, she knew that the same thing will happen - the accident that took her father away from them.

Miku blinked her eyes and saw the painted faces of her friends. They were all dressed up following a theme - is that punk or what? She sighed dejected. Her phone ringing was brought down at the backstage as her name was called to perform next. That's when she remembered that she received a phone call before the performance.

"Let's go, leader! Sing your heart and take home the bacon!" Gumi dragged her away from the backstage and they stood on the dark stage. "You ready?" Miku nodded and held the microphone close to her.

She will sing her heart, she will sing the way her father thought her.

The crowd cheered them as Miku and her group won the first award. The moment Miku sang, the audience felt her heart. As a result of her heartfelt singing, people trapped them with congratulatory message and compliments. But amid their socializing with the reporters who'd write articles about them, she heard his cold voice, reminding her of her phone.

Miku saw herself standing on the accident site - on a train station. There she stood alongside the ambulances - waiting for her father, when two people on different litters passed by her. Bloody men lying on a stretcher with people maintaining their breathing. . .

One is her father.

The other is a blond boy. It's him.

The same fate was befallen on her. She let the same thing to happen again, she let her regrets eat her wholly - she is powerless to change fate. Her father's eyes were already shut. The blond's were half closed, he saw her for sure...

At that moment, she no longer heard the cold voice of him, nor felt his cold hands touching and caressing her.


	3. Chapter 3

Darkness fell.

Coldness damped her skin with frost as she fell on the bottomless pit of black. Eyes blank, mind too, she succumbed what fate assigned to her. Miku stretched her hands, reaching nothing, but still did anyway.

'Nobody will hold it and save me from this catastrophe,' thought she and fluttered her eyes close, tears came out like crystals defying gravity.

He was levitating - or falling, he couldn't differentiate - amid the darkness. And as he continued to remain suspended there, a girl passed by his side, descending further than him. Her eyes were shut, a hand stretched out as if waiting for someone to help her.

Out of pure intuition to get a hold of what seems to be a company in the shared darkness, he swam.

Strings entangled.

He was holding her hand even if he couldn't stop her fall. The two of them danced and continued to sink at the infinite darkness, until he saw a small light ahead. Without a name, without a word, he held her hand - tighter than his belief of destiny - and. . .

The faint streak of light felt warm and comforting, hard and uneasy.

'Wake up!' He called, but no response. 'Open your eyes!' Expecting nothing from the totally unconscious girl, he pulled her up and enclosed her in his weak arms - the blinding white light vanquished the darkness harassing them.

Decks of cards scattered in the air as though it is snowfall. Such thing reminded him that this object - deck of cards - is used countless times in probability problems in Statistics. Chances - no, probability, measuring probability using numbers and formulas helped people predict outcomes and figures. As he stood there, bathing with the cards of diamonds and hearts, he carried her aimlessly. Will he be able to predict what lies ahead, what fate awaits, through the solution learned in his class?

'Whatever lies ahead,' he thought. As he stepped on a certain card, - a jack - wave of nostalgia hit his forgotten heart, regrets stabbed him like sharp knives, loneliness and various emotions he neglected struck him all at once. The plane where he stood cracked, light escaped through the gaps on the ground as a powerful force pulled him down.

'Whatever lies ahead,' a voice echoed, deep and melancholic. When he lifted his head, he saw a glimpse of a blue-haired man, more like the middle-aged man he met on the train earlier, 'I entrust it to you.'

The ground broke with a screeching sound, and he accidentally released her - the two of them went back on a fall. He tried reaching the sleepy head but the winds separated them, pushing them away farther to the ends.

Distance augmented, it separated them faster than a shooting star, quadrupling quicker than bacteria. He doesn't know her other than her face, but that familiarity burdened him with obligation towards her.

The last thing he saw was a long string tied on his ankle as he continued to fall, the harsh winds carried him to the distant places beyond spacetime.

The pure warm light lulled him to a sleep.

'He's here.'

He opened his eyes and saw himself lying on an endless flowerbed. There were tinkling laughter pleasant to the ears, echoing in the serene paradise. The sun was glorious, showering the paradise with no heat, just light.

'He is a awake!'

'Is he?'

'Hey, Jack.' A tall guy with long purple hair towered over him, his smile was so friendly and inviting. 'Hey, Jack.' Greeted a girl beside him, her white hair reminded him of the snow atop Mount Fuji in books.

'My name is not Jack,' he answered, 'I am Len.'

'But you are holding a jack card. What's that supposed to mean, Gakupo? Isn't he a...' The woman puckered her lips like an infant and looked up on the taller company.

'Did Teto forgot to spin the spindle of people's fate? Tut, you must be here upon a request of a fellow-last-met? Do you have the request?'

'Last met? I am falling in the dark and light, with a girl. She's taken away.' Len answered, standing from the soft grasses. He was sure that he felt nothing, like he doesn't have feet.

'Haku, where is damsel?'

'Sent back to physical world.'

'So-so, get back, Jack. Find the princess and serve her wish.' The purple haired guy snapped and Len found himself falling again - from heaven to earth. His voice was gone, he couldn't scream because this fall is so realistic, he can feel the wind tingling his soles. His body passed through the clouds, he was damped after, and continued cascading towards the land.

On the other side, he saw her, the lady who shares the darkness with him. Here they are, falling again, but this time she opened her eyes in horror. Maybe, she too was deprived with strength to scream.

'You, hey!' He tried calling but she faded like a dust that instant.

 **...**

Len had his blank eyes staring on the girl lying on the ground. Miku was asleep, her hair was spreading on the cold dark floor, glowing like his only light in the darkness. Her bare skin was fair, scars weren't the thing to be seen on her. She is a maiden preserved well, taken well, cared for, loved. He watched her to continue dozing into a deeper slumber that even he can't shatter. In that darkness, only the two of them were the light. Only the two of them shared that darkness.

It was cold and quiet, but that coldness didn't pierce deeper their bare skins; the silence didn't have the will to deafen them. Naked skins of psyches don't feel a thing, likewise their hearts on sleeves numb out. His eyes studied the white string on his ankle intertwined with hers.

'Wake up,' he called, moving closer to her. 'Hey,'

He pulled her up in his arms, bringing her face next to his. It was cold, just like his, and he didn't like that. Everything is not yet over. 'Wake up,' he whispered, his voice echoed deep in her soul. 'You're such a weakling. That's not the _you_ I used to know.' He won't let her sleep away, go back to the present with her darkness doubled. This is not supposed to end like this, her heart need not to rot because of the grievance nurtured in her depths. She should not live like an undead.

Len's eyes raked on her scar-free body as he laid her back on the ground. Her depression never led her to cut and cope through physical pain. She was strong enough to fight the urge, he thought. 'But suppressing loneliness won't make you stronger,' he whispered in the void. Because her scars are what people fail to see, it isn't on her skin. It's on her heart.

'I was unable to know my purpose,' she said as she held his hand before it may let her go. 'I watched the same fate to recur. You told me that there's no way changing the past,' her tears fell as she rose, arms circled his neck. She cried on his arms as he did nothing. He let her cry.

'Just who are you?' Her voice was groggy, face buried deeper at the crook of his neck. 'Why are you there? Why are you here?'

The questions are asked once again, but he is not the one to answer. True, he blames her for his current state, but after nine years of loathing her for such tangled and twisted fate, he began pitying her. In his eyes, she was a doll, something pretending to be pain-resistant because it is inanimate. But humans are alike, and he knew that pretense to well. His hands found her shoulders and pushed her away, so he could gaze at her eyes. Her skin still felt cold, she, too, would become like him in sooner time.

'I am Len. We meet on that day, on the dawn of your melancholia. Past is not your objective, remember that. Now, we have to go back and redo everything.'

'I don't want to!' She slapped his hands away and wept even more. She tried running away but he reappeared in front her. His eyes didn't connect with hers as if she was a dull view, and instead, he watched the light radiating on a side. 'It doesn't make sense to witness the same tragedy! It kills me! Why do you have to remind me all these?'

'Haven't I told you in the greenhouse? We will do it again and again, until you got it right. Until you find the purpose of being here. Until you realize what was your wish for.' His cold voice wasn't laced with slyness and mischief like the usual, it was emotionless. It was like his eyes all the time. 'However, you won't remember a thing this time. You will live as if you're sixteen again, like you aren't from the future.'

She wanted to protest with his decision. She couldn't make a change with that but his eyes, his eyes stopped her to voice her complain. 'You aren't the only one going back.' His words resonated like thunder clapping in her ears, the light on their side grew immense and blinding. 'Let's meet again and find your purpose.'

He hovered towards her, bare skins touching. All she could do is to stare in disbelief as he pressed his lips with hers, his hands kept her head from going away. She could her body warming with such intimate act - it's probable that he doesn't feel a thing while doing that - but it is saving her from the undead she is indomitable to become.

'Live.'

She wasn't mistaken with what she last saw before the light pulled them apart.

He smiled.

'What is his name again? I don't want to forget.' She thought.

The warm light brought her back to the physical world.


	4. Chapter 4

The birds chirped their morning song.

Miku wasn't sure what time it was, but she felt like she had slept for thousand years. Her body felt so new and light as she rose, though she could feel some pain at some parts. It was morning and she needed to get ready for school - but that was not her body's demand. She wanted to sleep for another five minutes - and a lot more five minutes - just to cure her unexplainable exhaustion.

She felt like she entered some black hole that twisted her whole body into angles.

The light peeping through the gaps of the leaves reminded her that it was morning, and she _badly_ needed to prepare for school. Her father would knock on her door few minutes from now, and she didn't want to miss breakfast with her parents. They were a small family with only three members, she was the only child, and these little things she would do with her parents everyday completed her being.

But as she climbed down her bed, her mind was unstable. Miku kept on wrinkling her face, trying hard to remember if she forgot to do something. But what _something_? Was it a homework? Was it a new song to memorize? Was it a material needed for their experiments in Physics? She spaced out while staring on her shelves, slowly lost in deep thinking. Her fists clenched against her sheets, pondering deeply what was it that she had forgotten.

"I am missing something," she was certain with that. Miku walked away from her bed, and turned back to stare at it. It was unfixed and untidy, with her blanket tossed all over the place. The curtains pulled aside fluttered against the wind that sneaked from the little opening from her glass window. Of course, her place looked familiar — she was sleeping here since forever, but there was some weird knot in her chest that was assuming that this whole stuff was _'nostalgic',_ albeit she had no reason why long for the place.

Her musing was interrupted when she heard the noise from outside; it was the normal commotion that would wake her every morning. Right then, she rushed to her walk-in closet and pulled the clothes she'd wear to school, before hopping in to bathe. When she came out, she still had five minutes left before her father would knock on her door and ask her to have breakfast. So she picked up her bag, stuffed her phone in one of its side pockets, and marched towards the door, planning to surprise her father, but halted in a sudden. She whipped her head back to her bed situated below the glass window. For the second time around, her eyes scrutinized her place. The tiny thin branches grazed against the panes like fingers pressed against the glass. The shelf at the foot of her bed looked undisturbed, so as the one on her headboard. In general, nothing looked odd.

She pouted in distress, her mind seemed to make a fuss on everything. She felt weird—today felt weird—like something was new in her, or there was something _new_ , she couldn't figure out which is which. She stood there for a couple of seconds, massaging the fold in between her brows. Deciding to drop the matter now, she turned back to the door and walked forward. She didn't miss her morning ritual—and that is to smile at the photos of her with her parents hanging in frames on the wall. Their faces were smiling at her and she was smiling back at the still images. "That was too intense to start my day," Miku stopped massaging her temples.

'Begin one's day with a smile and everything will be fine,' she hummed and clasped the door knob, yanking it open. Much to her surprise, her father was standing on the doorway, a hand held in the air - about to knock.

"Hey there." Her dad smiled. "Hurry up, buddy—"

"-mom's like Godzilla," she laughed and continued her father's morning greeting, before stepping out of her room.

It was always like this. The positive aura inside their house was incessant no matter how worse some days began. The little Hatsune family was well known as gleeful people making up the neighborhood bright. Miku was Meiko and Kaito's only child. She was provided everything she wished to have - from one musical instrument to other - but this didn't make her a marred girl. Everything she asked for - it was given, aside from one thing. A sibling.

Being the only child both has its pros and cons. Miku could have all the attention and love and support she needed. Just ask and it was responded as soon as she blurted it out, for they have few expenses in the household. But of course, it saddened Miku at sometimes because she was never able to play with a younger sister or brother, look after them or some sort of those sibling-bond one could see from movies. She was already sixteen, but her parents still refused to have another child. And having a sibling was something one could not buy, that's the catch.

Miku was envious of her classmates and close friends in school, for they had siblings younger than them. Gumi had Gumo and Ryuuto, Luka had her twin Luki, and Aoki had none — only Miku and Aoki were the sole child of their families. When Miku would see Gumi screaming to her two middle school siblings, she would tell the green-haired girl that she would like to have a brother, too.

"Oh, you wish!" Gumi would tell her. "These two are pestering me every single day. If your mom and dad are willing to adopt either one of these blockheads, go on. Feel free to pick one."

It was harsh, yes, but Gumi was only saying this because she had them. "When one of them are taken away from you, I'm sure you will regret what you said." Aoki scolded their drummer; her statement made Gumi deadpan. "Miku and I always wished to have one. Shouldn't you be thankful because you have what other people wished for? To think of it, your brothers are charming boys!"

"If that's so, Luka is quite lucky, then? Luki is such a gentleman!" Miku exclaimed, but Luka whined her objection. This, however, surprised the three, because they never heard Luka complain about her twin.

"You better hesitate with what you just said. Once he heard that, you're...ew," Luka rolled her eyes and squirm, as if she was trying to shake something off from her clothes. "Luki liked Miku for some time already, and he was a pervert! Beware, Miku! He's keeping a picture of you in his room — gross, ew. Scary guys."

"What's wrong with keeping one's picture, though?" Aoki asked, somewhat puzzled with Luka's claim about her twin. What he was doing — such as keeping pictures of his crush — seemed _normal._ When Luka revealed the truth, Aoki's life colors drained.

The father and daughter ran downstairs and were greeted by Meiko from the dining table. There was a buttered toast stuffed in her mouth as she gathered cups from the sink, and placed alongside the plates with toasts.

"Hi, sweetie! How's your sleep?"

"The usual," Miku smiled and sat on her seat, quickly munching on her share of breakfast.

"How am I suppose to guess 'the usual', Miku? You've been telling that since last week, but I still don't know what's that." Meiko rolled her eyes and poured coffee in her husband's cup, then moved to her daughter's cup. "Coffee?"

Miku shrugged. She never liked coffee in mornings or in evenings - she never liked coffee. " 'The usual' is the usual, mom. _Good_...like that," Miku chuckled and picked another toast, glancing occasionally on her wrist watch. She wouldn't be late if she engaged herself a little more, but there was something in her that compelled her to rise from her seat and run to school.

Sensing the uneasiness in her daughter, Meiko narrowed her eyes against Miku's weird action. It was five minutes more before Miku has to leave for school. But Miku was having this weird twisted expression, as if she would miss something if she won't leave now.

"Honey, what's wrong?" asked Meiko.

"Nothing much, mom." Miku smiled. "Just checking when will be the right time for me to have a sibling. Any plans?" This wasn't the real reason, but it sounded more sensible to throw a joke than to tell her mom that she was anxious about nothing. Like seriously, her parents would assume that she's in love or something.

She watched her parents gag on their coffees upon saying that, her father even spit out the liquid from his mouth. It was a good joke for Miku, half meant since she was wanting to have a younger sibling. But whenever her parents would react like this, she couldn't stop but think that they were acting like teenagers. Miku chuckled and grabbed her bag, ready to dash away once her mom talk about _having a child_ bluntly. As in bluntly.

"Miku, how dare you bring that talk again? Look, your dad and I can fuck all night - but you're already a lady, and don't you find it awkward to have such huge age gap-"

"Blah blah blah," Miku yelled and snickered, marching away from the dining table. See? Blunt! She turned back and waved a hand, a huge grin was plastered on her face. "I'm leaving, love you both! Bye-bye," she checked on her wrist watch as she stepped out of their house.

 _Three minutes_ early, she muttered to herself and proceeded to walk her way to school. The sun was up in the sky, its morning rays struck her with warmth. It was half an hour before eight, and she could dawdle on her morning walk for today. There were middle schoolers running on the pavement past by her, laughing at the joke they heard from yesterday's late night show. Some of their neighbors were also out early today, mowing their lawn and strolling their dogs. The newspaper boy was delivering the broadsheets and bottles of milk late for today. No wonder why her mom served no milk to her, Big Al woke up late today.

"Good morning, Miku!" He greeted as he rode his bike and went out of Mrs. He's lawn.

"Good morning, Big Al! You're surprisingly late today, huh?"

"Hard luck, dear. Alright, good luck to school!" The boy brisked away as Miku waved a hand to him.

Miku went back walking and studied the neighborhood. One of her neighbors out today was her _crush,_ a freshman university student who was three years older than her. His red hair stood out of their green lawn as he walked out of it, carrying his white bunny in his arms. The way his eyes batted at her with slow recognition—she was sure that he had gotten up from his bed some minutes ago. Miku stopped in front of him and blinked, waiting for him to say something. He was staring down at her since she was a head shorter, waiting for her to say something, too.

"Hey," her voice hitched as she said that; his sleepy face was making her afraid to say anything without stammering or squeaking like a fan girl.

"Hey," he smiled—it was a sleepy sexy morning Greek-god-like smile he flashed to her, as he fondled his bunny's head. His russet eyes narrowed at her, and along the process he unintentionally puckered his lips. Miku wanted to faint now in embarrassment. He was too cute for her to handle that easy. "Miku, your face is red. You aren't sick, are you?"

This surprised Miku. She didn't know she would blush in front her upperclassman real quick, especially that he was not only a _regular_ upperclassman. He was Fukase Dudley—of all people! Miku deadpanned, ignoring her warming cheeks as if they never happened, and diverted the talk _professionally._

"Oh, don't you have classes today? University is far from here. I thought you are staying in your flat," her smile was unnerving and forced, but the redhead seemed not to care. He just shrugged, his fringe was automatically brushed aside, and grinned.

"Well, I don't have subjects for Monday. But I'd probably leave later afternoon." He showed her a thumbs up before dropping an arm around her, pulling her back to the pavement to continue her walk to school. Miku was staring at the bunny he was carrying, its red eyes stared daggers at her. "But before I leave, I want to hear Miku sing. I'll play the piano and you'll sing for me. What about that little bargain?"

Miku smiled sheepishly at his offer. Fukase was the former founder of their high school's _Band Republic,_ he wqeknown as the band's pianist and sometimes bassist — he could play any instrument and sing very well. He was her role model, the image she idolized in their school who inspired her to make her own band. When she entered high school, they met and acquainted. Beginning that day, Fukase personally taught her all the things he could teach her, eventually passing the band to her.

Given all the time she spent with him, she liked him more than a friend — and that liking was because he was good in music, he was a good singer, and he was a good upperclassman to her. But he had a girlfriend, she was one of the vocalists of the _Band Republic_ who also taught Miku about music. Rana and Fukase looked happy back then, Miku could only wonder why she rarely visited their village for sometime now.

"Or maybe you'd like a duet with me?" Fukase peered at her, bending himself down to see her face clearly. His black-rimmed russet eyes stared at her — they looked like two crimson rubies against his white skin. "We never tried to sing in duet, right? I think we will sound good together?"

However, his words flourished a different idea in her mind. _'We will sound good together,'_ her mind replayed the same words as if he was conveying a different message. Miku flustered again, her redness that hadn't faded yet, grew deeper and she could feel the heat creeping to her ears. "Eh? But you only sing with Rana..." Before she could continue, he waved his hand, freeing her shoulders from the weight of his arm. He dismissed her as soon as Rana's name left Miku's mouth, and she was sure that something's wrong between them.

Fukase petted the rabbit's head, eyeing the white hare with such gentleness Miku never had seen on him. It was like the world was only about him, and him alone. Was it a standstill? Miku wasn't sure. Whenever she was with Fukase, all she could see was him and his flaming natural red hair. The entire block of greenness was ignored by her eyes, since she could only focus at him and his angelic smile. The laughter from the children earlier, faded in her mind as she listened carefully to what he was saying.

"We broke up last month. Things would be better that way, I think? So, what now? You had Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' songs in your phone, right? Why don't you sing ' _Cat and Mouse'_ with me?" He grinned, ruffling her hair as he walked with her still. She started to wonder where he was planning to go. "I'm heartbroken so I want to sing something like that."

His chortle didn't sound lighthearted for Miku — and even though she was itching to ask how did he end up breaking their relationship, she was not in place to voice her thoughts. Miku was a mere apprentice for Fukase, she was sure with that. But her liking to him was more than an admiration of an apprentice to her mentor. She perked her head up to him, attempting to unveil the hurt behind those gleeful smiles he was wearing, but she knew she was not allowed to see more than what was outside—what he would show.

"Okay," she sighed, giving in with his demand. "I think we can try. But don't blame me if we mess up, okay? You're a good singer and I'm an amateur." His hand found its way to ruffle her hair again, and she was supposed to get mad at him because of that — but it was _him,_ okay? He had this charisma that canceled out all possible hatred she may bestow him.

Fukase seemed delighted with her answer, and it showed in his huge grin. He even yelped. "We won't mess up. Who knows, our voices might be a perfect fit. What do you think, eh?" He dropped an arm around her and pulled her along his long strides, humming a familiar melody. Fukase loved contemporary rock songs, and Miku seemed to inherit that liking of his. "Alright, since I am glad with your response, I will take you to school."

If he would continue this, Miku's unrequited love would quadruple. Her brain would continue to misinterpret all these, even if she knew that he was being friendly alone. Miku knew she should not have her hopes high because of the fact that he had broken up with Rana. He was nineteen, she was sixteen, and so romantic relationship was impossible. Fukase might not be considering that—never at all!

"No, you don't have to do that! Promise!" Miku interrupted. Her friends may taunt her if they will see Fukase with her, and she won't let that happen. The two of them stopped walking as Fukase gazed at her. The greenness of the lawns came back to her senses, the laughter, the morning ruckus, Big Al's yelling from the other blocks — everything. Miku woke up from reality.

His eyes were round and curious, peeling the layers Miku had used to conceal her liking to him and the real reason why she wouldn't want to be seen with him. However, his innocent staring made her uncomfortable. "Ah, you see, I need to go now, Fukase. I will be late," she stammered a little, but managed to pull it through. She untangled herself from his arm around her and jogged ahead, waving a hand to him.

Miku found herself jogging together with the middle schoolers from earlier. They were still laughing about the puns they loudly proclaimed, unaware how annoying those puns sounded to Miku. Irritated with their high-pitched laughter, she pulled out her earphones from the side pocket of her bag and connected it to her phone. Maybe she could familiarize herself with ' _Cat and Mouse',_ partly because she was curious why the redhead chose it; the other, was because she was a music lover. She liked _RJA_ for a while now. Miku turned right, walking on the opposite way from the middle schoolers, glad that she was not going towards the direction of the kids.

The piano solo began, then the percussion instruments joined smoothly. "How melodramatic," Miku commented. Then the drums gave slow beats, the bass guitar started the melody. It was _too slow_ for Fukase's genre, but his voice would definitely fit this song. "The lyrics, though," Miku massaged her her temples as she continued to listen, removing the other speaker from her ear, since she would walk on the crossroads. "Fukase must be _really_ broken."

Looping her fingers on the straps of her bag pack, she slowly nodded along the rhythm. Every student walking with her was inanimate in her eyes as she paved the sidewalk, humming the melody. A few more seconds, she found herself singing the chorus.

" _Am I supposed to be happy? With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price. Am I supposed to be happy? With all I ever wanted, it comes with a price. You said, you said that you would die for me..."_

When was about to reach the end of the street, she heard loud screeching brakes followed by a crash. She whipped her head to her right, on the alley where the sound was from, and she saw a bike and its rider on the ground.

"Oh!" Miku turned towards that alley to help the rider, but before she could take a full step, an arm clung to her left and pulled her back to her original route. It was her band-mate, Gumi, who tugged her back to the pavement. "Hey, Gumi! We need to help — "

"Hey, Luka!" The short-haired girl dragged Miku again after seeing another familiar person along the throng of students walking with them. The pink-haired girl looked back at them, waving a hand. "Come on, Miku."

And though she was worried about the little accident on that alley, she still ran with Gumi. "Some students would help the rider, for sure." Miku thought, but she was still uneasy, being the eye witness. "Gumi, wait. Someone needs help from—"

"Oho, I saw that. I am walking behind you, y'know. Fukase _-senpai_ rescued the man already. Forget that, let's go~" the girl dragged Miku away, and the teal-haired girl was forced to neglect that she witnessed that event.

* * *

Unbeknownst to her, it was the first mistake on the loop of events — she should have helped the rider. Albeit he was not injured, their meeting might change things a little.

Mumbling a curse, he crawled away from his bike and began dusting off his pants. He was just lucky for he wore the protective gears today, or else his arms and face would end up rugged. Amid his internal cursing, a stranger pulled his bike up and tightened something on his brakes — and before he could ask what he was doing, a white bunny hopped to him.

"You should check your bike before riding it," the redhead smiled at him. "It's okay now. Are you hurt?"

The rider winced, removing his cycling helmet. Blond locks fell above his shoulder as he stared up to the young man who adjusted his brake. His bright blue eyes were wide opened, pupils dilated at the sight of the good-looking redhead's face.

"What's your name, dude?" Fukase picked up his bunny and offered the blond boy a hand. "My name's Fukase."

He grabbed Fukase's hand and pulled himself up. The two of them stood at the same height, they even had the same paleness of their skin. "My name's Len. Kagamine Len."


	5. Chapter 5

Miku lay down on the grasses while _'Cat and Mouse'_ played again and again. She was spending her study hall in a very lax manner, just chilling out as if she knew what would be the talk in her next class. With her arms folded beneath her head, she watched how the sunlight seemed to dance as the leaves rustled with the wind. Few rays struck her with blinding glow, but it soon faded as the leaves continued to move. It was around two in the afternoon, and her next class would be an hour later. Gumi, Luka and Aoki shared the last subject with her so she was always looking forward to her last class today.

It was indeed a tiring afternoon. As she lay down on the grasses, eyeing the long branches of this tree, she wondered why _nostalgia_ was still in her senses. When she entered the class earlier today, Miku had that feeling like she _had seen_ all of those things before: her laughing classmates, the disarrayed desks, the fact that their Physics teacher would come five minutes late announcing a pop quiz. It was not premonition, Miku knew that there was no such thing like _ESP_ or _fortune telling._ On the other hand, it also never felt like coincidence. What coincidence would be so accurate for the whole day anyway?

The music stopped so Miku pulled her phone to her face and played the same song, then dropped her phone on her stomach. Her eyes stared at the leaves again, watching the light slipping through to dance — or was it the leaves? She cared not whatever was true in that statement. She continued slacking, humming along the music which played for the tenth time now. The wind was cool and relaxing as it damped her bare cheeks. Miku pressed her eyes closed and succumbed to the deafening melody of heartbreak. If Fukase wanted to sing this, the lyrics must mean something to him. Could it be because Rana was relying too much to him? That's what the lyrics were telling, eh?

"How does it feel to have a broken heart?" Miku whispered to the thin air, meaning to ask herself and not the wind. But before she could contemplate about her own question, the music turned down as her earphones were pulled away—disheveling her hair, unintentionally.

Miku sat up real quick, and there was the familiar sky-blue haired boy wearing her earphones. He was sitting like Buddha other than his arms were crossed against his chest. If ever he was puckering his lips intentionally to look cute or not, it wouldn't change the fact that he disturbed Miku's siesta. His white-dyed fringe swayed like graceful leaf blades against the wind, waving a hello to Miku. Brows crinkled, he might be analyzing the song playing.

"Matsuda! My earphones!" She lunged forward to him, arms held high like a lion attacking its predator. Matsudappoiyo opened his eyes right when she was midway in the air, and he stretched his arms open as if he was expecting a bear hug.

His straight face annoyed Miku and even though she wanted to retreat, there would be no way to stop her momentum. He changed expressions rather swiftly, from wrinkled to expressionless — _creepy._ And why the heck was he extending his arms?

There were few students sharing study hall with them, and fewer students were out in the grounds with them. Other words, few would witness their childishness. Matsudappoiyo caught her in his arms and rolled the two of them on the grasses, until she was lying down under him. His russet eyes bore deep into her blue ones as if searching for something.

"Matsuda, get off!" She tried pushing him up, but he was still. He even pressed his weight fully on her, and she began wondering what he was eating to become this heavy. The poker face he had scared the crap out of Miku, for it was obstructing her to read whatever was going on in his mind. The boy closed the distance between their faces: forehead to forehead, nose to nose. One wrong move, he would—he might—kiss her. From that proximity she could hear the faint melody from her earphones. She suddenly realized that she was playing the song in an unhealthy volume.

Miku stopped struggling beneath him because this straight-faced-jerk was totally weird, and she wouldn't want her first kiss be like this. He parted his lips, hot breath showered her lips. She thought he would do it — he would kiss her; and honestly and it wasn't exciting for her. "Are you heartbroken?" He asked.

Miku replayed his question in her head. This time, as she was thinking, she pushed him up and propped her elbows to support her. Her eyes were enthralled by the lights sneaking through the gaps of leaves above them, her lips tugged in a wide smile. "I'm not, Matsuda. That song is requested by Fukase. We will be singing it together—"

She was pushed down again, and Matsudappoiyo was sitting beside her. His hand that could cover her whole face, touched her forehead as if checking her temperature. Or maybe he really was. "Your temperature is normal, but it seems like you're delusional."

"Delusional!" Miku jerked up and slapped his hand away, pulling her earphones from him. It was offending to hear that no matter how accurate Matsuda was. Fukase singing with someone else besides Rana, was rather _delirious._ Miku stopped the music and shot the boy a glare, but he only returned a blank indifferent stare.

"What are you doing here?" She asked instead, knowing that he wouldn't speak until she opened up something. He was like a robot at some time, that's why most people from his class avoided him. But he was not an all-out weirdo, Miku knew him since they were four, and Matsuda wasn't this _robotic._ Matsudappoiyo held her glare more than a couple of seconds, and she was the first one to break the eye-contact. Rolling her eyes, Miku leaned her back against the tree and sighed.

"I came here to ask whether we could do a duet, but I already knew the answer so I would wait until you were free." Seeing emotions from him was least expected, but he actually sounded dejected with those words. Miku felt like her ears faltered after noticing _that_ emotion from his voice, thus asking him to say it again. And like a robot blankly following a command, he said it again. "I came here to ask whether we could do a duet, but I already knew the answer so I would wait until you were free."

She clutched her stomach and laughed wholeheartedly and peered at him with teary eyes. "What's that? We can sing, you know. It's just Fukase, chill. You're really weird, Matsuda." She continued to laugh albeit it died down eventually.

"Miku?" He broke her laughter, drawing her attention from her aching stomach to him. When she raised her brows asking why he called her, he said, "I love you."

Miku calmed down this time. She smiled at him and scratched the back of her head, expectant to this turn of events. "Well, I don't know how many times you said that. But yes, I love you as a friend. You know that."

Matsudappoiyo nodded quietly, eyes reflected emotions Miku could not read. "But can we sing? I want you to listen to 'Sleeping with Sirens', please?" This time he smiled at her, hoping that she would give his request a shot.

"Sure." Matsuda was a good friend of hers and she would not want to break that friendship. Moreover, she was not ready for this kind of relationships yet. Heck, Fukase was just her crush, that's for sure. Being in love was not her thing, yet. "Oh! I forgot to get my book from the library, I have to go now, Matsu—"

"I will get it for you. Gumi asked me to keep you company while they were still in their Literature class. She also told me that she would meet you here. I will get it for you, wait a minute." Before Miku could protest, he dashed away through the help of his long strides.

It was a cover up, of course. He was just awkward after another rejection. He knew he wouldn't win her heart, she rejected him for the fifteenth time now. But his liking — no, his love for her wouldn't change. She was the first girl who let him feel all emotions, who let him experience sort of things, who let him see the sides of her. Matsuda would always find himself admiring her, liking her more day by day. Moreover, his heart was used to heartaches. Her rejections were like "I love you too" for him. That might be quite sadistic, to love someone who couldn't love you more than a friend, but at least she could love him.

He wasn't sure when he started feeling this. When they first met around third or fourth grade, he was a transferee to the school Miku attended. She was his seatmate back then, a quiet, witty, cheerful girl. Words were useless back then, Matsuda never knew how to introduce himself without stammering. And stammering meant one thing — embarrassing yourself in front of an audience. So when he first sat on that desk beside the window, she was the first one to talk.

"Hi! My name is Miku Hatsune," Matsuda wouldn't forget the way she smiled at him, the way she said her name, and the way she extended her pencil to him. She explained that he was a little out lot her reach so he could shook her pencil instead of her hand. Yes, it was odd. But that was the very first welcome he had.

From then on, he was always watching her — not in a stalking sense, of course. Most of the times she was quiet on her seat, playing with her pencils as if they were drumsticks and she would ram her desk or the windowsill. Miku always liked making beats and melody, but it was always rambled and altered every minute. There were times she would only bury her face on her arms folded on her desk, a muffled hum would echo from her table.

One could only do stuffs (that eventually became Miku's mannerisms) out of boredom. So after a week of observing her, he tried talking to her. Much to his surprise, Miku was so delighted to his voice. She told him that he was not a big talker in class, seldom would he participate in class. At the end of the day, she was the one talking a lot but it wasn't boring for him. He liked how her face made weird expression when she would tell random things, and he felt his heart fluttering every time they would talk.

He thought it was just a puppy love, to be attracted to a girl who somewhat left an impression on him, but when they moved to the next grade and met a lot more people, Matsuda found himself looking for her in every girl he would meet. What he meant was that her attributes he came to familiarize became his standards to like girls. Of course, every individual was made unique, so there would only be one Miku. It was like a loop he couldn't escape. For her he would fall. Again and again.

He tried confessing his feelings when they were ten. Matsuda expected such boldness to break their friendship but the opposite happened. Miku told him to tell her that again when his "love" is real. And until now, he always ended up rejected.

It was a quiet jog to the library. The halls were almost empty, one could tell that from Matsuda's echoing heavy steps. But the silence wasn't absolute because there were thoughts painted on the walls. The murals lessened the dullness of the passage, different abstract faces were painted like how this high school had diverse students. The surreal mural of two similar persons was Matsuda's favorite. Whatever the reason, he never told anyone. No one knew it was his favorite anyway. When he spotted that mural, he slowed down his pace to stare at it. Just like that, he forgot that she rejected her a few seconds ago.

He was standing before the mural, adoring how the strokes formed an illusion of two people looking exactly the same. Both were female faces, a reflection of the other, except for the woman on the left was happy, the other was the opposite. Matsuda stood a few steps away from it to scrutinize the mural as a whole. It was not a piece of cake to draw symmetrical eyes, let alone faces on a wall. He admired the artist for that. The background colors were vague, twisted like an allusion he couldn't decipher at first read. There were melting clocks and shadows of people and a lot more images he found unrelated to each other. His forehead crinkled as he found himself immersed in a deep thought, he even brought his hand up to cup his chin. Both girls on the painting had their eyes closed; the other was smiling, the other was shedding tears. There was a small voice in his head yelling that the mural was a hint of the future.

"It's a beautiful art,"

Matsuda snapped his head to his left where a blonde girl was standing beside him. She was also staring at the mural while she kept her arms behind her. Her short golden hair hung an inch above her shoulder, two white hair clips held her fringe from obstructing her eyes. He only kept his blank face as she spun her head to him. Their eyes clashed and there was no recognition from him.

"It's a beautiful art, isn't it?" She said again, trying to sound casual and less creepy. She was a stranger after all, he had no reasons why talk to her. "Looks like they're twins." She continued, mindless if he was truly paying attention or not. He was unable to identify whether her eyes were of the same shade of blueness of Miku's eyes when she suddenly snapped away. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he looked back at the mural.

"Or a representation that all of us are two-sided." Matsuda finally spoke, his tone is as cold as his expression. He looked down at her as she looked up to him, her face lit with a smile. He only nodded at her as he laid back his arms beside him. Her eyes were like Miku's.

"My name is Rin Kagamine. My brother and I are transferees here. What's your name?" Matsuda, for the second time, nodded. He never shook hands with other people except Miku's. And that was like eight years ago, and it wasn't her hands at all. His glance switched from her face to her hand extended out to him, and it was like a life-changing decision he has to make. Why was he so awkward to people again?

"Ah," he slowly reached out for her hand, "Matsuda...ppoiyo, I'm Matsudappoiyo." He shook her hand for a brief second. The awkward silence followed after he said his name, so he decided to continue his walk to the library. He thought it was partly rude to withdraw his hands that quick. She would forget it though, they wouldn't meet again. But before he could turn his back to his new acquaintance, he was called back when she asked a question.

"Excuse me, Matsudappoiyo? Can you escort me to the library? I have to meet my brother there right now and I kinda lost my way." Rin looked demure but everyone had the same aura when it was their first time talking to people. Since he was going to the same place, he nodded and waited for her to walk with him.

Looks like he wouldn't be able to spend the remaining study hall with Miku.

The short walk to the library felt like a three-miles walk for Matsuda. They shared silences since there was nothing to talk about at all, and he wasn't the type who would speak to people first. It was awkward—he was always awkward around strangers—but the new girl never looked tensed around him; it was as if the awkwardness was ricocheting away from her. They continued to walk, heels clicked against the tiled floor.

Matsuda shrugged off his worries, keeping in mind that he never cared even if people think that he was uncourteous around girls. For him chivalry, if not for Miku, was dead. However, it didn't mean he was not capable of being nice around people. His face may not show it, but he was actually doing his very best to cope with all crazed people of his class. Nonetheless, his efforts were all in vain. The only people he befriended were Miku's band mates, Gumi, Luka, and Aoki.

"Are you always this quiet?" Rin's voice sounded like tinkling wine glasses when she spoke. It cut his train of thoughts though, and he was thankful for that. Matsuda whipped his head, russet eyes blinked at her. When she realized why he was looking, she repeated, "are you always this quiet?"

Matsuda was taciturn and calm; his name was always associated with the list of people who lacked sense of humor. Worst case was when the birdbrain senior students would label him imbecile. Although Miku told him that his silence was more sensible than his bullies' ruckus, those people were still inevitable. And hearing a word from him during a small talk was impossible, unless it was Miku who was talking to him. With all these basic information about him, his answer to Rin was a simple nod.

"Oh," Rin pouted at him as she nodded as well, slowly turning her head back to the hall. She wouldn't expect him to talk with her. She was beginning to think whether she was boring or something, because his indifferent stare was unnerving, unless that was the same look he was giving to everyone in their campus.

The two of them felt like the awkwardness was too thick, but Matsuda couldn't care about that. She was only asking for directions and he was not graced with the responsibility to entertain her while they were walking to that place. It was just a wishful thinking, that people should keep their guests comfortable in their houses. Whenever Matsuda would have a classmate visiting his place, he would only open the door and let them do what they want. He believed people were old enough to understand that time shouldn't be wasted with small talks, unless he would be spending it with Miku.

"That's the library," Matsuda pointed out at the double doors at the end of the hall, both were closed. No wonder why she lost her way, it never looked like a library at all. When he first went to the library, he thought it was a secret passage to the church or something. "Few students come here. You know youth nowadays, they aren't fond of reading."

"And you are?" She quickly asked. Matsuda knew that it was a new attempt to engage him with small talks. He only shrugged, keeping his hands in his pockets. What was he supposed to say? Or was he supposed to answer that? When Rin sensed that he was immersing himself with a new wave of silence, she pulled her eyes away from him and focused on the dark double doors several meters away from them.

Fifteen minutes had passed but Matsuda wasn't coming back. Miku was leaning against the tree, indulging herself with the soft breeze blowing against her face. Her brows knitted as she narrowed her eyes, wondering what took Matsuda long. The library was just two blocks away from the open ground, if she would fetch her things it would take her less than five minutes.

Matsuda was never a slowpoke. He was quiet most of the times, yes, but his reticence had nothing to do with running. At this rate her friends would come and they wouldn't find him here. Gumi would come up with a new "evidence" that Miku was enslaving the guy.

Miku looked up to the little light show above her. Her heart was warming at the sight of the sunlight slipping through the gaps of leaves, and somewhere in the back of her head there was a voice telling her she had seen such light before. Her chin tilted higher as she blinked, familiarizing herself with how the lights flickered above. She had seen it before, that was for sure.

Her eyes fluttered close, letting the light warm her whole body. There were fuzzy images in her head as she tried remembering how did that light felt so nostalgic. When she and Matsuda met? No. When she saw Fukase earlier today? No. When she saw the biker lost his balance from that alley? Probably. There were trees alongside that street—but she hadn't tried glancing up to the _komorebi_ from that road. Maybe she saw it in one of her dreams? Or when she was sitting half-asleep . . .

"Miku!" Her concentration was shattered when Gumi peered down at her, a huge grin was plastered on her face. "Why are you making that face? Are you imagining that Fukase- _senpai_ is kissing you? Aww," the girl laughed and slumped on the space beside Miku. Miku, on the other hand, could only look at her with bewilderment.

"What are you saying? I am recalling something...something I seem to forget, I'm not sure." Miku sounded sincere but Gumi was the last one to believe. Offended, Miku rolled her eyes and huffed at her friend. She wouldn't win any argument against Gumi, the girl basically paired Miku to any guy she would see first.

"Aha, I won't believe that when you're pouting like an ugly duckling, wanting to be kissed." Gumi laughed and wrapped her arms around Miku, shaking Miku as if she was a cannot spray paint. "Oh! Where's Matsuda? I thought he was here."

"He volunteered to get the books I left in the library." Miku leaned her head against Gumi, lips crooked to a small frown. "He had that habit, you know. Running away whenever I would tell him that I only love him as a friend. I knew it hurt him, but he wouldn't give up."

Gumi patted her head and sighed. "He likes you a lot. Why can't you return the feelings anyway? You're together since you're nine,"

"It's like taking him for granted, Gumi." Miku untangled herself from Gumi's arms, leaning her whole weight against the trunk of the tree. "I won't do that to him ever. He's so precious, he's a great friend. I can't return the feelings as long as I am seeing him only as a friend."

The girls remained still for some moment, but when the leaves stopped rustling Gumi talked. "What took him so long? I think it's better if you went there on your own to get _'your'_ books. You're making him your slave again."

Things would be better if Miku went to the library. Gumi knew nothing about premonition or _ESP,_ but what she said was true. If Miku stopped Matsuda from volunteering, she might be the one staring at the mural, talking to the new transferee, and walking the transferee to the library. If she was the one opening one of the double doors instead of Matsuda, maybe she would understand why everything felt nostalgic.

Matsuda pulled the door open and asked Rin to get in first. When he turned back to trot Rin after he closed the heavy door behind, he saw her talking to a taller blond carrying three different books with him, atop the pile of books sat a familiar teal pencil box with a huge letter 'M' embroidery.

"Excuse me," Matsuda approached the guy Rin was talking to. "Are those Miku's books?"

The blond perked his head to Matsuda, his blue eyes were wary of the guy standing behind Rin. He looked down on the heap of books he was carrying and nodded, then said, "Miku Hatsune? Yes. The librarian asked me to give it to her in her next class in 886?"

"I am her friend, I will give it to her." Matsuda quickly took the books from him. The blond, however, was puzzled by his actions. Nevertheless he just gave it.

"Oh, Matsudappoiyo. This is my twin brother, Len. Len, this is Matsudappoiyo." Rin blurted out, making Matsuda look back at the blond. He finally noticed the small strips of gauzes on Len's arms. And he was not the one to talk, so he nodded. Len blindly imitated Matsuda's nod.

That's how they met.

If Miku went to the library herself, maybe she was the one standing before Len.


	6. Chapter 6

Miku stared languidly at their Physics teacher standing in front the class. She liked the subject, and she liked the teacher, but her affective filter was too high she couldn't concentrate. Other words, her emotions were bugging her enough to find the subject indifferent today. She was known to have straight A's in her sciences since the middle school, but she hated Math - or the other way around - and Physics didn't sound and look like Science to her. It was full of numbers and formulas and variables unknown. It was analytical, sometimes she wondered if this branch of Science was meant to be a Math. But then, Math is a branch of Science. Miku scowled.

Her physics teacher was drawing a ball on the blackboard, his white chalk drew lines that indicated the _"falling state"_ of the ball. _Free fall_. Why would they give a thing about measuring the velocity of falling things? Miku huffed, rolling her eyes back to her head. When things fell, she didn't actually thought of knowing its speed. She was wanting to see how it would shatter on the ground. Miku couldn't understand why would she care about these things. When a plane would crash, physicists do not measure its speed in reality.

"You don't actually measure the velocity of people falling in love," she snickered to herself, amused with her own poor analogy. "That was love sick," she muttered before forcing herself to look back at her Physics teacher. Was falling in love an act of _falling,_ too? No, of course. Miku was just silly. Her sea-green eyes focused on her teacher. He was talking again, explaining how the formula would be used. Let _Vf_ be the final velocity equal to _Vi_ plus _at,_ where _Vi_ is initial velocity, _a_ is acceleration, and _t_ is time. Still basic, Miku's lips thinned to a forced smile. Maybe she could endure this class a little more. She liked the subject, but she was just bored.

Miku raised her hand, such act woke the class from its drowsy state. She couldn't blame her classmates though, it was about time for a sound catnap. Twelve o'clock was a very conducive hour for a short sleep. At least for her, it was. Her physics teacher looked at her, he was amused himself, and gestured her to talk. Miku folded her arms on her desk again, leaning on its flat surface with an energy and interest she had not possessed a few minutes ago.

"Mr. Arsloid, excuse me for asking but if we're referring to a ball on a free fall state, then we won't compute for its acceleration, right?" Miku flipped her notes in attempt to look for something. After skimming through the pages, she finally saw what she needed. "Shouldn't we use _g_ as the free fall acceleration?" somehow, she worded things badly. Miku half-hoped that Mr. Arsloid understood her question well. "I think it is used as the acceleration of any falling object?"

The redhead nodded, grinning enthusiastically as he paced in front the class. It was such a cheerful toothy smile his fan girls wanted to see all the while he was teaching, but just like the blue moon, it was rare. He then clapped like what Miku pointed out was something worth the Nobel prize and proceeded to write a separate formula on the board. _Vf_ equal to _Vi_ plus _gt._

"Thank you, Ms. Hatsune. I thought this class won't ask about that," he turned around and faced the-now-awake class. They thought Mr. Arsloid was weird but gorgeously weird. "What she said was exactly correct, though I expected Ms. Megurine to point it out, being the one most studious in this class."

Now that he said it, Miku felt like answering in his class was wrong. He didn't mean that Luka was the only rightful person to participate in class, but she was rather surprised about it - about being interested in all of a sudden. Since Mr. Arsloid reminded her that usually she wasn't like this, for written examinations were her cup of tea, everything felt so familiar. She used to have A's in her class cards in previous grades, she was highly interested with sciences. Yes, that might be the reason. She must had seen this equation in a book before, back in a time where Math did not hate her so much. Or maybe what she was feeling right now was linked to how queer she woke up this morning?

 _Probably_. Miku leaned back on her seat, beginning to get bored in this class in all of a sudden. Her thoughts drifted back to how queer she woke up this morning. The same lights peeping through the leaves greeted her and she rose from her bed ten minutes before her alarm could ring. For some minutes she spaced out, wondering why she was waking up automatically earlier than usual. She brought her knees up close to her, hugging it and leaning her chin atop the now-folded knees. She was tired. That was the most accurate explanation she could think of. But as she batted her long lashes twice, she asked herself how could someone who just woke up feel tired?

Was it exhaustion or was it the aftermath of her disappointment from yesterday? She missed Fukase from their supposed to be duet that day, too. He left to go to his flat half an hour after Miku's band practice, so she saw no redhead at their garage. She found the garage still opened and the drum set was still there. Mrs. Dudley was there, keeping the extension wires Fukase usually would bring out when he would play his bass guitar. Wait _,_ thatsounded _weird._ He would not play the bass unless someone else would sing.

She remembered it clearly, Mrs. Dudley was surprised to see Miku looking for her son. Mrs. Dudley told Miku that Fukase already left right after he jammed with someone. "With someone?" Miku repeated, Mrs. Dudley nodded her assent. "Who could it be?"

"I'm not sure, dear. I never had seen those two before. Must be from a different street? But to be honest, I was expecting you singing with him. He told me that it was you," the older woman turned around to keep the extension wire in a toolbox, and then she faced Miku and smiled again. Miku's brows were knitted, attempting to recall whether there were other musicians near them.

"That was odd," she whispered to herself before smiling briefly to Mrs. Dudley. Right then she bid farewell and left their garage. Matsuda was waiting for her outside the Dudley's lawn, his straight face on. He only titled his head a little, a gesture asking what happened.

"Fukase already left," Miku was surprised with her own voice. She didn't mean to sound as sad as she seemed. "Um...I guess we can try picking a good song for your request, Matsuda?" she smiled at him. Matsuda nodded and walked ahead, and Miku was left wondering about Fukase and the people he jammed with. But she shouldn't overthink of it now, Matsuda was her company. Her mind must be occupied with what song she and he would play. Miku jogged until she reached his side, and she began asking him questions about this band, _Sleeping with Sirens._

"And this is Roger Rabbit?" Miku exclaimed as she scooted closer to Matsuda, tugging the other earpiece with her. He was playing the song through his phone, lips glued together as though he never wanted to talk to her. If Miku didn't know him enough, she might be thinking that he was ignoring her. "I love how smooth it goes. You really love this kind of music, huh?" she asked. Still, Matsuda said nothing. Miku shrugged and closed her eyes, immersing herself with the instruments and the voices she heard. The music, the message, she let it all flow inside her like a life energy. Miku smiled as the chords changed, she loved the melody enough.

Matsuda was like a stone sculpture seated next to Miku. The two of them were sitting on her lawn, under the sky splashed with the orange and dark blue afterglows. She was close, _too close,_ but that was not an issue. He almost kissed her earlier this afternoon, but of course he wouldn't do such absurdity. Stealing kisses was for grade schoolers. What made him stiff was the fact that she was leaning on his shoulder, humming along the melody playing from his phone. Matsuda found the whole thing romantic, he and she watching the sunset - or that's what it appeared to him - as if they were more than friends. On the other hand, it made him feel a pang, like big, sharp thorn was pierced in his heart, for Miku could never think of this whole setup romantic. Her words replayed in his mind, the same words were said for the past years, and that was the real _consistent._ "I love you, too, as a friend." That was the friendliest rejection. So friendly it dumped him on the _friendzone_.

In all of a sudden the earpiece was pulled out of his ear, and he stirred seeing Miku glaring up to him. She said she was asking something for a minute now, but Matsuda kept on ignoring her. True, he was too busy dawdling with his own thoughts. But then again, even if his daydreams were about her. And they were not _unholy,_ he assured. Matsuda blinked and raised both of his brows, wishing her to continue. When Miku continued to glare, he decided to use his _well-reserved_ voice.

"Sorry, what are you saying?" he shot her a small smile. His rare smiles could tame Miku.

"Well, as I was saying, if you're to sing a song for me, what would it be?" she looped the earphones on her fingers and placed it on his palms.

Matsuda narrowed his eyes. "Heartbreak girl," he grinned, but his emotions faded as soon as he realized that the said song was not good at all. Miku was clueless what was that song so he tried singing it. _"Hold you tight straight to the daylight/ I'm right here when you're gonna realize . . ."_ Before he could continue his song, a car suddenly pulled up in front them. Miku's parents were home. Miku was acting oblivious again, he knew. The way she quickly sprang up when the car showed up, it was an escape route. Matsuda watched her ran to her parents like a girl excited to check whether they brought donuts with them. He quickly looked away, his white fringe danced with the evening breeze when he turned away. Maybe it was about time to go home. Standing up, Matsuda left her lawn by nodding at Mr. and Mrs. Hatsune.

Author's note:

Newsflash. I'm going to lie low from writing. _Well, I already am._ (I won't stop writing, but it doesn't mean I'm going to publish stuffs.) Maybe you'll see me active from my collaboration with allechant, but well, I guess that's the only stuff I'm _motivated_ to work on (tbh I'm like a silly young sister who is a headache for her older sibling. Sometimes I wonder if I'm annoying my sensei /allechant/ haha). Long story cut short, I'm on a hiatus now. Thank you so very much from reading my works. To those people (or a person? you know who you are) who message me, telling me to continue writing, thanks much. I appreciate it all. I'm just anywhere. Drop a message if you wanna talk. My WhatsApp's just there.


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